Hello Everyone:

May all of you have a most blessed week!

This weekend, I went to see Denzel Washington’s new movie, The Book of Eli.  This movie is an action adventure that is as entertaining as it is spiritual.  I was glued to my seat from the beginning to the end.  Mr. Washington is one of the best actors in the business and he did not fail to deliver a stellar performance along with his first rate cast members.  I wish him continued success in his future endeavors. 

When I reviewed some of the comments on the Internet, I was surprised to discover that some individuals had an issue with the version of the Bible that was used in the movie.  I’m a Roman Catholic who was raised as a Baptist and I’m familiar with various versions of the Bible; however, the message is essentially the same whether you’re Baptist, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Methodist, Roman Catholic or any other Christian denomination.  We believe in and acknowledge Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.  His ministry and teachings were “real” 2,000 years ago, are “real” today, and will be “real” tomorrow.  The path each Christian chooses to worship him and his Father in Heaven is an individual choice, not a preordained societal mandate.  As far as I know, no one denomination has “cornered the market” on this truth.  Jesus chose to conduct his ministry with caring, truth and simplicity.  Too often, mankind has chosen to convolute and misrepresent his legacy based upon our own worldly agendas and prejudices which is an absolute shame!

The Book of Eli is more about the importance of being connected to a much more powerful intelligence than one’s self.  Faith, religion or a system of beliefs have always been utilized by civilizations to build and stabilize them by establishing a code of ethics that encourages the development of healthy societal institutions that foster a sense of community among its’ members.  This film does a wonderful job of illustrating this point without being “preachy”, “elitist” or “bigoted”.  It also challenges the movie audience to look at ourselves as we are and what we might become, if things were really to “go to hell in a hand basket”.  The distinction between civilization and anarchy is a very thin one and it’s only by the “Grace of GOD” through the development of spiritual values that societies evolve in a caring, humanitarian direction.  This movie’s message transcends our Western Judeo-Christian religious concepts and can also be appreciated by non Christians.  I really enjoy movies that make a lasting impression on my thoughts such as this one.  I only pray that Hollywood will produce more of them!  Be sure to enjoy your Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, tomorrow.

May Peace Be With All of You,

Hello Everyone:

I know it’s been awhile since my last blog entry but I’ve been preoccupied with other matters.  I’m going to have to make a much more concerted effort to blog more often in the upcoming year.

During the holidays, I usually travel to New Orleans, Louisiana; however, I decided to postpone my annual trip until the Mardi Gras season in February and I just can’t wait.  When I don’t make my annual pilgrimage to ”the Crescent City”, it makes me moody and this is probably why I have not felt like writing blog entries.  It’s always nice to reconnect with a place in which you felt so comfortable.  There is something about this city that resonates deeply within my soul as “laughter and mother wit”.  New Orleans is truly a very interesting city to visit.  My life has been greatly enriched by living there.

My memories of New Orleans served me well during this past year.  2009 has not been one of my best years and I thank GOD that “I made it through” with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.  With the Great Recession causing so much havoc in 2009, many Americans on all socio-economic levels experienced substantial financial difficulties and disillusionment.  The level of intense negativity on the Internet as a whole surprised me.  Even when individuals were acknowledged for performing worthwhile acts that benefited others, people had nothing better to do than “sling mud”.  It seemed as though the devil, himself, had hijacked the Net.  Considering the overwhelming emphasis on our sluggish economy and high profile scandals, I’ll take “good news” over “bad news”, any day of the week!

I’ve had my trying times this year too, but I have always given individuals their credit when they deserved it.  The true test of maturity is being able to maintain your objectivity and fairness when your own reality is not all you would like it to be.  Being gracious is not always easy when you’re disappointed and stressed out but it‘s doable.  There were days in which I felt like a walking advertisement for Rudyard Kipling’s poem, “IF”.  This poem is timeless and well worth reading.  Realistically, adversity and opportunity are “the flip sides” of the same coin.  By experiencing challenges and obstacles, we learn to appreciate opportunities much more fully when they present themselves.  None of us enjoys navigating the rough seas of adversity but once the storm dissipates, we can see things much more clearly.  There are times when “a wake up call” or “shakeup” is in order to “reset” our perception of reality. 

In many ways the adversities and scandals of 2009, were a most appropriate way to close out this decade.  Too many of us were walking around within our own self-absorbed bubbles and they were bound to burst.  The more hypocritical and excessive, the louder the pop.  Karma is “no respecter of persons”.  Institutions and individuals who perceived themselves to be “untouchable” received a “rude awakening”.  Many well respected businesses were driven into bankruptcy.  Many high profile individuals were disgraced when their private excesses were exposed to the public.  “You have to live your life within the laws of the universe”, as the hip hop music mogul, Jay-Z said in a Gotham magazine interview earlier this year.  2009 reinforced this reality with a vengeance.  As a society, we’re “treading on thin ice” and if we are not careful, we just may fall through it! 

The wonderful thing about a New Year is that it rekindles hope and the promise of a new beginning.  With GOD all things are possible and with faith, we can accomplish the impossible!

May All of You Have a Blessed and Prosperous 2010!

Sistah Selah

Hello Everyone:

Lately, I’ve been seriously contemplating my Thanksgiving blog entry. This year has not been the best of years for many people.  The current economic downturn has left very few people unscathed.  Many people have lost their jobs, homes, retirement savings as well as their self-esteem.  In addition to mounting financial losses, the cherished institution of marriage has taken quite a beating.  Many very high profile couples have simply called it “quits” for one reason or another.  Regardless of where people stood on the socio-economic totem pole, the stressful weight of 2009 certainly made itself felt. 

In times such as these, all you can do is pray for the strength “to make it through”.  Prior to the Civil Rights Movement during the 1950’s and 1960’s, my African American ancestors were well acquainted with “tough times” on a daily basis.  My parents and their siblings grew up in the segregated Jim Crow South and endured the hateful racist indignities hurled at them.  I will be forever grateful for the countless individuals both great and small such as Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who simply put their feet down and said, NO MORE!  By doing so, their momentum paved the way for one of the most remarkable events I have witnessed in my lifetime, the election of Barack Hussein Obama II, an African American, as the 44^th President of the United States of America.

The going has not been easy for the Obama Administration but they have proven they’re not to be taken lightly and will persevere as long as necessary to achieve their objectives.  The opposition has been working overtime but that’s to be expected especially when they, themselves, have nothing positive to offer.  The extreme right seems to believe that they are beyond the Laws of Karma.  It’s a foregone conclusion that when you strive to put negativity into motion, it will come back to you!  They can’t accept that their “roots have been dug up” and “it’s time to start fresh”.  There’s no time like the present “to let bygones be bygones” and “work together” because “the past is not where it’s at”.  When history knocks, it’s time to open the door or adversity will steamroll right on top of you!

In recognition of the sacrifices made by my ancestors, I will be joyfully toasting them.  I will be acknowledging all of my ancestors – not just the African Americans.  As Americans, all of us share a common ancestry that is as old as the Declaration of Independence and I will be forever grateful to our Founding Fathers for framing a living document that has withstood the test of time.  We, as Americans, have not seen “our better days”.  As a nation, we have weathered chaos and uncertainty many times before and by the GRACE OF GOD, “WE HAVE MADE IT THROUGH”!  The blood, sweat and tears of so many that have sacrificed and gone before us will not be in vain.  Sure, it will be painful, but “together we stand” or “divided we fall”.  It’s up to us to make the right call.

May All of You Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Sistah Selah      

Good Afternoon, Everyone:

May all of you have a most blessed week. 

I attended an Anita Baker concert last night.  I’ve seen her live several times in the past and last night was not her best performance.  Ms. Baker even admitted that last night was her last concert of the season until May and that she felt that she may be “getting too old for this”.  However, her very lovely contralto voice is still very much intact and she poured her “heart and soul” out to the audience.  She told the audience that she’ll be turning 52 in January and expressed how important it is “to release anger as opposed to hanging on to it”.  I absolutely love her music and will continue to buy it.  I wish her continued success in the future.

Recently, I read a derogatory comment someone made on the Internet concerning the appearance of an actor which stated that, “the outside is finally catching up with the inside”.  Granted, this person does look somewhat older than his actual chronological age of 53, however; he’s been fighting his share of “personal demons” for quite some time which seems to be taking a toll on his appearance.  The reason this comment stuck in my mind is because it rings true for all of us. 

None of us are going to be what we once were twenty, ten or even five years ago.  Life simply does not work that way.  Everyone will go through different phases in life and how we fare depends upon our individual genetics and how well we take care of ourselves.  I’m in my late forties, and I happen to completely agree with Ms. Baker’s assessment concerning anger.  Don’t get me wrong, it has its’ place but hanging on to it for an extended period of time only poisons your soul.  As a motivational impetus, it can be quite useful in the short-term; however, something much more fulfilling must become the foundation of your long term objectives, otherwise; you may find yourself engaging in counter-productive activities that will unnecessarily complicate your life.

Currently, American society is very “youth conscious” and for some, their looks have become an “unhealthy obsession”.  As the saying goes, “beauty is only skin deep” and what will you have left once your looks are gone?  If you have failed to cultivate other qualitative aspects of your character, woe be unto you!  There are many people who erroneously believe that wealth excuses all sins.  Wealth can’t buy a good character, integrity or sincere admiration.  Sure, people will pay “lip service” to you but the minute the tide of good fortune turns against you, they will devour you like a “pack of wolves”.  In such trying times, how well you recover depends upon how well you’ve treated others in the past which will either make or break you.  As the saying goes, “the same people you meet going up in the world, you will see coming down” and people have very long memories especially when they’ve been angered or mistreated.

Usually, people who age well, have conquered their “personal demons” by no longer allowing their insecurities to get the best of them.  They have learned “to live and let live” and just allow others to be who they are whether they agree with them or not.  They have learned that people are simply people who fundamentally want the same things from life regardless of their racial or ethnic background.  These are people who know no strangers because they feel comfortable enough in their own skin to accept others and not be challenged by their apparent differences.  Such people will usually radiate a sincere, heartfelt warmth that’s tempered with a healthy sense of humor because they have lived through adversity by not allowing it to master them.  These are truly beautiful people because their souls are unencumbered by the traps that so many of us fall into and they have developed the wisdom to avoid them.  I know plenty of them, do you?

May Peace Be with All of You,

Good Evening, Everyone:

May all of you have a most blessed week.

Within the last few years, many very high profile celebrities have had children born out of wedlock.  This weekend a very prominent actor/director had his eighth child with his mistress which, in effect, ended his marriage of almost three decades.  Unfortunately, this person’s rather archaic and conservative religious beliefs have placed his recent libertine personal conduct under extreme scrutiny.  This person and his mistress have been the subject of some of the worst Internet comments of the century. Granted due to his rather sanctimonious viewpoints, he had it coming; however, trashing his new born baby is just going too far.  The child is an innocent who had no control over her parentage and should not be penalized by the public’s negative perception of them.

Frankly, I know quite a few people who were born into very similar circumstances and they are some of the nicest people I know. I also have some relatives who were born out of wedlock and I would not trade them for anything in the world. Truthfully, if allowed, time will heal some of the most traumatic emotional experiences.  I know several families who have dealt with these issues and continued to love one another including the offspring who were by-products of extra marital affairs.

One of my dearest cousins was married to a consummate womanizer who conceived several children with other women outside of their marriage in addition to the eight children they had together.  She did not approve of her husband’s promiscuity but had very little control over it.  Being a very spiritually inclined person, she persevered and eventually after 20 years of marriage, her husband died from cancer.  From time to time, driven by curiosity and an innate yearning to know one's roots, one of her husband’s “outside children” will drop in to visit.  My beloved cousin could be mean, spiteful and simply slam her door shut and no one would blame her for doing so.  Fortunately, my wonderful cousin is a “woman of substance” with the spiritual fortitude to forgive as well as “live and let live” which is lacking in so many “so-called” Christians.  She opens her heart and mind to these outsiders and treats them as if she’s known them all their lives.  She makes it a point to introduce them to her children and it is not unusual for these outside children to celebrate holidays and family related events with her family. If this is not caring and compassion at its’ highest, you tell me?

Everyone is not born into the best of circumstances for whatever reasons and stigmatizing people because of them is just plain “inhumane”.  We don’t have any control over where we start in life but how we live it is much more important.  We no longer live in “the Dark Ages” in which religious fanaticism trumped understanding and compassion.  A civilized society knows better and the Christian GOD I believe in and serve expects better.

May Peace Be With All of You,

Hello, Everyone:

May all of you have a most blessed week!

I know it has been a while since I’ve updated my blog.  My attention has been focused on other matters, lately.  I’ll try to do better.

With so many unsettling things going on in the world, my preference is to focus on a much more positive blog entry.

My personal spiritual goal has been not to allow circumstances that are beyond my control to stress me out.  I sincerely believe that each one of us had some input regarding the circumstances of our lives here on earth before we were born.  Keeping this assumption in mind, I must logically assume that GOD has blessed me with the necessary tools to effectively address the obstacles I’m encountering.  Experience has taught me, there are times in which the use of “brute force” is simply the wrong approach.  My definition of “brute force” is the aggressive application of energy focused upon an object to dislodge or alter its’ physical structure.  When confronted with such stubborn circumstances, it’s far better to step back and take a time out in order to “re-evaluate” the situation.

What I discovered that had to change was my “preconceived”expectations of reality.  I have observed that most of my plans don’t always manifest according to my wishes because reality is actually much more unstable than it is stable.  When I invest my time and energy into an endeavor, I want a well above average return on my investment which is not always realistic.  We’re all different and what may work for one person may not necessarily work for the next.  So much about life is being in the right place at the right time among the right circumstances. 

Through my inner meditations and prayers, I have discovered my fundamental karmic lesson is to develop the mental fortitude to become “graceful under fire” which is much easier said than done.  I swear to GOD, in a former life, I must have been a warrior because my natural instincts are to stand firm and defend my position at all costs.  However, a “hollow victory” is really “no victory” at all; especially, if it leaves you exhausted with little or nothing to sustain yourself. As experienced gamblers would say, “you have to know when to hold ‘em and fold ‘em”.  I’m not Hercules, and there are times in which you have to just step aside and let the huge boulder you’ve been pushing uphill go or you’ll be run over by it.  All of us have the power within us to change the circumstances of our lives for the better; however, it’s essential that we let go of the mental traps that really serve no useful purpose for our happiness in order to succeed.

May Peace Be with All of You,

Good Evening, Everyone.

May all of you have a most blessed week!

On September 26, 2009, Roman Polanski, the critically acclaimed motion picture director and producer was finally arrested in Switzerland on a 30 year outstanding warrant for the March 1977 rape of a 13 year old girl in Los Angeles, California.

I can’t imagine anyone who is not familiar with Mr. Polanski either through his cinematic accomplishments or the great tragedy he suffered at the hands of Charles Manson when he ordered his followers to ruthlessly murder his pregnant wife, Sharon Tate and her party guests at their home in 1969.  I was a very young child at the time living in Southern California and this incident scared the hell out of me.  No one felt safe and even though I didn’t read about the gruesome details until they were published later on in a book, I knew these murders were brutally executed.

There is no doubt that Mr. Polanski has suffered his share of tragedies considering that he also lost his mother at the hands of the Nazis during World War II.  However, despite his accomplishment and tragedies, violating the innocence of a young girl is not excusable.  This is a crime against society that can’t be overlooked because it involved an under aged child and adults have a "moral obligation" to respect the innocence of children.

What I don’t understand is why this is an issue that merits any sympathy for Mr. Polanski.  He committed the crime, made a plea bargain and fled the United States before he was sentenced and hid out in France to avoid extradition back to the U.S. For the last 30 years, he’s lived in France and has been very active as a successful film producer and director who has won numerous awards.  Tell me, how has he paid his debt to society?  He has not sacrificed anything.  He’s even remarried and has two children with his current wife. 

I’m still having a problem with those who feel he should be pardoned when government officials both here in the United States and abroad have decided to let the wheels of American justice run their course as they should.  Moral decadence has always preceded societies on the brink of collapse.  A "civilized and humane" society will always protect those who are vulnerable from ruthless exploitation.  A "child is still a child" regardless of their circumstances and our society has a "moral obligation" to protect them when they are the most vulnerable. Fame and notoriety should not place people above the law.  It makes no sense to make laws, if everyone is not expected to abide by them.  No society is perfect but in order to enforce stability and security, they are all we have other than the strong arm tactics of a political dictatorship and I have no desire to live in one.  If we cherish our freedoms, we have to respect our laws especially when they are enforced to protect the innocent.  The pendulum of fate is always swinging back and forth and it’s important that we, as a society, choose wisely.

May Peace Be With All of You,

SistahSelah

Hello, Everyone:

I’ve been somewhat busy lately and I really need to update my blog more often. I’m just going to have to make the time, period.

I hope that all of you’ve enjoyed Mr. Leming’s interview.  I really appreciated having the opportunity to present some of his viewpoints.  If all goes well, his post production motion picture screenplay, Carnies, will be distributed in theatres, soon.  I pray that it becomes very successful.

From time to time, we all have to deal with various challenges and some of them can leave you feeling depressed and hopeless.  I recently had one thrown my way and it gave me “the absolute blues”. Sometimes as hard as you try, it’s not meant for you to become involved in a particular situation.  There are times in which “the chemistry”  between everyone involved is not complementary and you have “to call a spade a spade”.  As Jesus said in Matthew 10:14: “Whoever will not receive or listen to your words –go outside that house and shake the dust from your feet.”  The next verse, 15, advises you "not to sweat" such people because their day is coming and you would not want to be in their shoes. 

It’s never nice to deal with people who “stab you in the back” because you have a little more on the ball than they do.  Many people operate within somewhat unethical realms because they are desperate and integrity is something that is “alien” to their character.  Interacting with such types can lead you into a very dark place emotionally and spiritually.  I’ve dealt with my share of them by always choosing “the high road”.  By doing so, whatever intentional injustices they perpetrate against me will come back to bear down upon them threefold.  I’m a witness, I’ve seen it too many times, GOD never sleeps!

In the meantime, you have to acknowledge the hurt in order to disperse the bitterness it leaves behind.  For me, the best practice has been to talk to GOD as I would one of my very close friends and not “sugar coat” my feelings or words.  The bitterness needs to come to the surface and not remain submerged to do you more damage in the future.  Just tell it like it is and you will not be disappointed.  Once you have “exorcised” your emotional demons, your mind will be free to focus on other pursuits and not “energizing” your disappointments.  Life is just too short to be carrying around baggage stemming from chaotic incidents that went nowhere. Stuff happens and you can’t allow situations that did not work “to yank your psychic chain”.  The only thing you can control is how you choose to “take care of yourself” and if you don’t do a good job, no one else will.

May Peace Be With All of You,

Sistah Selah            

Good  Evening, Everyone:

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this blog because it’s been my goal to introduce a different format.  Frankly, I feel it’s about time to allow other individuals the opportunity to contribute to this blog.  My primary goal is to create an online “intellectual hang suite” in which people can share their viewpoints in an intelligent, constructive manner without being overwhelmed by oppressive negativity.  Currently, there is far too much of it on the Internet and I feel it has gotten way out of control.  People are even slinging mud at “good news” which is completely unnecessary.  The lack of “good taste” and “compassion” is really appalling. 

Within the last two months, I have contacted several individuals regarding the opportunity to interview them.  Fortunately, Ron Leming, a writer and graphic artist who currently has one of his scripts, “Carnies”, produced into a motion picture awaiting distribution was kind enough to accept my request.  By doing so, he has given me the opportunity to introduce my new format which includes thirteen non intrusive questions that allows the person participating in the interview to answer them at their own convenience and depth. It’s always refreshing to read someone else’s opinion.  It gives us the opportunity to learn from one another. 

I sincerely thank, Mr. Leming, from the bottom of my heart and I wish him much success in his future endeavors.  Here’s what he had to say:

1)  How's your day going?

     Well, I just woke up so who knows. So far so good. Have to have my coffee first. I'm disabled, sick, poor and lonely, so I never have any really good days. But when I have days that aren't too painful and nothing goes wrong, that's a good day. I'm expecting a couple packages in the mail. That always makes for a good day. Someone is interested enough in me to ask for my opinion here. That's a good day.  I'm not in too much pain. That's a good day.  I have food and shelter and that's good.

2)  Do you have any plans for the upcoming year that you want to share with us?

     Well, I'm planning on being able to get a laptop to be able to use strictly for writing, and to finally get a decent computer to do my art on. I have to spend about half my day in bed, so a laptop lets me continue to be productive at those times.  As far as artwork, I do 3D CG art, which is very computer intensive, and have always been limited in what I can accomplish with poor quality computers.  So both of those things will improve my life and productivity.

     I'd like to be able to say I plan to move back to Ventura, California, as I'm terribly homesick, and have been for a good many years, now. I don't know what the future will bring, but that's a permanent plan for any time in the future. I need my ocean. That's my place of peace. I recently saw a piece of property for sale in Ventura which consisted of a little house and a house trailer. I thought to myself, I could live in that house, close to the beach, and find a deserving single mom to live in the trailer for not so much rent but maybe a little housekeeping for me. That would be a real dream for me.

    I'm hoping the CARNIES movie will come out this or next year. It's been a long process and I'm anxious to see the final result. I know the director followed the script we turned in fairly closely, with, of course, changes required by the film-making process. I'm hoping we can sell it to Lionsgate for distribution. I have to really improve the quality of my health care in the next year. That's a big part of my plans now that I have Social Security and Medicaid. Improving my health, even a little, would improve my life immensely, and make it possible for me to be a little more active and accomplish a little more.

3)  What makes you the happiest?

     Gosh, that's hard to answer. I haven't had as much happiness in my life as I really should have. Kitties make me happy. I lost my little Monster a couple months ago, and don't plan on getting a new one for a while.

     The new custom built computer will make me happy, not because of having something nice, but because my art and writing are what get me up in the mornings and get me going, even when I'm hurt and exhausted.  Writing and art aren't just what I do, they're who I am, my identity. Anything that increases my ability, my skills and my potential makes me happy.

     The close relationship I have with my sister in California makes me very happy. We weren't close until just a few years ago, but we've burned so many electrons by email that we've become as close as can be. We tend to be very much alike, and it's quite nice to have someone to relate to and commiserate with.

     My friends make me happy. I have many absolutely wonderful friends that enhance my life immeasurably. Without them my life would be much diminished.

     Getting anything personal in the mail, especially packages makes me happy. It's like, hey, someone knows I'm alive.  Books make me happy. I recently bartered some artwork for about a thousand science fiction, fantasy, mystery and horror books and that makes me happier than a raccoon in licorice.

     Finding love would make me happy. I was an abused kid and an abused adult, so I've not had it, really. I've been IN love, naturally, deeply and passionately, but I don't feel it was ever reciprocated in the way it should have been, so finding an attractive, gentle, understanding woman who could tolerate me would be a wonderful thing.

     I'm a movie freak, so finding a new movie makes me very happy, at least for 90 minutes or so (though in my opinion movies are meant to last for 2 hours), as does going back and rewatching my favorite films in my probably too large collection.

     A day when the weather is slightly cool and overcast and even foggy makes me happy, because it reminds me of home.

4)  What are the most significant historical events that you have witnessed so far?

     The event that stands out the most, for me, is the exploration of the moon. It thrilled me beyond belief and left me deeply disappointed in the present condition of space exploration, which, in my opinion, should be a priority. The human spirit needs exploration, needs the adventure of new places. It always has. As a species, we seem to have the deep need to explore, to break new barriers, to discover the undiscovered. I also think that if humanity does not expand into space, to other planets, it will, eventually, wither and die.

     The Vietnam War was, I think, an immensely important event in our history. For the first time, it demonstrated that our government could be terribly wrong.

     The Iraq war will be shown, I think, to be of major importance, and not in a good way, but as a very bad example.  Our nation was not established to START wars, to be the aggressor. Not since the Balangaga massacre in the Philippines in 1901, when 3000 Filipinos were massacred by the military has the US acted so despicably and so aggressively.

     As an old Haight Ashbury hippy, I cannot fail to mention the entire counterculture movement, which had an immense influence on the culture of America and the world. It had an impact on movies, music, fashion and, I hope, ethics and morality. And yes, some of us are still hippies.

     The invention of the home computer must be counted as a very significant historical event. It has changed the culture of the world to such an immense extent that things will never be the same. Changes both for good and for ill. I'd like to think that most of the changes will be for the good, allowing a world community of sorts to be created, and enhancing our ability to communicate. I myself have friends all over the world, in the Ukraine, Australia, the Caribbean, even in countries which, before the computer, we would have had no contact with at all. This can only enhance our quality of life and our humanity, eventually. As well, I think the computer has made it very much harder to get away with bad action, criminal behavior and other evils. It gives the ability to instantly expose this behavior and the capacity for instant condemnation. Truth can no longer be effectively hidden. This has both good and bad points, what with people's dishonesty and the violations of privacy and the possible exploitation it also makes possible.

     While not an historical event, I find myself amazed and dismayed that we still commit violence on one another, that we still kill and steal and oppress other human beings, usually for incredibly stupid reasons. I had hoped our species would have evolved a little further than that.

     Again, not an historical event, but an immense change in our culture occurred without much notice, which I find terribly important. Let us call it the death of good manners and common decency. It especially shows in the cult of celebrity. We used to admire our movie stars, our celebrities. Now, for some reason, it's turned bloodthirsty.  We wait with baited breath for celebs to make mistakes, to act badly, and then we play endless video clips of this bad behavior on TV and the internet. We seem to have developed a desire to see people fail and then treat this as entertainment. This behavior is like a boil on society and culture, and I find it disturbs me greatly.

5)  Which people have influenced your life the most?

     My mentors in writing, and to some extent, life.  Erle Stanley Gardner was my mentor when I was just a teenager.  He taught me a lot of ethics and how to become an expert in any subject by dint of at least a year of extremely hard work and research. It's not a talent everybody has, but evidently I did. Why he decided to take an interest in a goofy teenager who wanted to be a writer, I don't know, but I feel very blessed that he did.  And, in fact, my parents,in an amazing moment of non abusive behavior, moved us all to Ventura where Erle was.

     J. N. Williamson, who was a sadly under appreciated horror author and an extremely lovely man. We didn't always get along, but we were always friends.

     Robert Bloch, who was immensely generous to a writer who often asked him questions he preferred not to answer and told the most wonderful stories about working in the movie industry and the people in that industry. And who, indirectly, connected me with both H.P. Lovecraft and Ed Gein. He made me see that humor was an absolute necessity, even in the darkest of stories.

     My long time and current friend and mentor, Piers Anthony, who is, quite simply, the finest, most honest human being I know. Muhammed Ali has always been my hero in life, not because of his skill as a boxer, but because of his quality as a human being. He put his career and everything he had on the line to stand up for his principles and beliefs. I hope I'm even close to being as good a person as he. As he's gotten older and been very ill, he has handled his life and illness with immense grace and dignity.

     Fay Wray, in particular, and many of the movie stars of the 30's and 40's influenced my life quite a bit, not insofar as character, but they really formed my taste and preferences in feminine beauty.

     My favorite ex-wife, Annette, was very influential. She taught me a great deal of wisdom about women, and although, unfortunately, our relationship didn't succeed, we are still good friends.

6)  Where does GOD and/or spirituality fit into your life?

     Faith plays a large part in my life,though it's not something I speak about much. I don't believe in inflicting my beliefs on others.  I'm part pagan, part Native American, part Buddhist, part Taoist and partly my own concepts of the universe gained by many years of study.  It end to follow my own path, one that works for me. I suspect that most people who genuinely want to believe, and aren't apt to take anyone's word for anything, find their own way, their own path to that belief.

     I try to be very respectful of other beliefs, and I greatly enjoy watching religious material and movies. I'm fascinated by questions of faith, the lives of the saints, stories of people trying to find faith or struggling to keep it. It doesn't matter to me what faith it may be, it's the struggle for faith that I love to learn about.  That's always a great story for me.

     I think it started with movies, as many things in my life have.  The Thief of Bagdad, with Steve Reeves, in which Allah kept showing up here and there to help him along fascinated me. And movies they no longer show on TV, like the story of Fatima, and Lourdes, and Joan of Arc, all those old movies where kids or adults see visions of Mother Mary. Those created in me a lifelong interest in religion.

     In my beliefs, there are only two sins and one commandment. Don't be ignorant. Don't hurt other people. Love each other and treat each other nice.

7)  What have been your greatest challenges in life?  How have you addressed them?

     My entire life has been a challenge.  Starting out as the child of alcoholics and an abused kid who was molested at a young age does not lead to a happy or fully functional life. Really, it crippled, without many necessary skills, without knowledge you need and emotional resources, and with many fears and issues. It also tends to lead you into abusive relationships. Yes, it does happen to men, especially if you are a very gentle person who would never think of hitting a woman, even in self defense. You don't seek out abusive relationships, but it's like having a big sign that says 'victim' on your back. Abusers find you and know just how to give you exactly what you want most in order to suck you in. I've been, sadly, alone for nearly 15 years now. That causes me great suffering, as I am not a man who functions well without a woman and a frequent sex life, but I simply had to try to resolve those issues in myself which led to my abuse, so that it would not happen again. I hope I've been able to do that.

     Having an extremely high IQ is also,in many ways, a challenge.  Very few people understand you because you simply think differently, and have to discover how to do things in your own unique way. And, you have no social skills, no relationship skills. You can be remarkably uninformed and terribly naive about the realities of life and relationships.

     Having been a writer and an artist all my life, well, that has its problems too. Mostly because, again, no one really understands you, and because it makes you an outsider, an observer rather than a true participant. You never quite feel a part of things, always on the fringe.This is important, even necessary, to the process of writing and doing art, but it can also lead to a deep emotional dissatisfaction and yearning.

     My present situation, in which I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, cataracts and having had a heart attack and surgery has become a huge challenge. I was a caretaker for the disabled for many years. I never expected to become disabled myself.

     How do I deal with these things? I'm not entirely sure. You either deal or die. Not many other choices. Many people who know me consider me the strongest person they know. I'm not entirely sure why. Many are quite surprised I haven't gone insane. I don't feel strong. The one thing I can say is that my art, my writing, my creativity has always been a flame inside me that keeps burning no matter what the circumstances are. It may have burned very low sometimes, but it always burned. That's what keeps me going no matter what.

     I have never been willing to compromise my life or give up my dreams. I've suffered for that, of course, but there's a price to pay for dreams. Some people are willing to pay that price. The world doesn't make much room for gentle people and dreamers, and does not treat them well. In fact, it tends to treat us very badly. But, really, where would the world be without us? And if I were to drop dead tomorrow, I have the great satisfaction, joy and blessing of knowing that many of my dreams have come true. Not easily, by any means, and not quickly. But how many people can really say they've seen their dreams accomplished? And I still have dreams left to accomplish, goals left to reach for. That's a great motivation to deal with whatever comes down the line and keep working as best you can.


8)  What are your general impressions of American Society?  In what areas do we need improvement?

     Someone, I can't recall who, once said that a society and a country can be judged by how they treat their children,their elderly, their sick, their disabled, their poor and their animals. Judged on that basis, American society is a vast and terrible failure. Yes, America has done many great things, but not for many years now. The American dream was lost decades ago.

     It's not just us, though. The entire world has deteriorated in many ways. I lived in Japan for several years while working for Toho Studios, and fell deeply in love with the country and the people. And still am. But even Japanese society has deteriorated and is suffering immense problems, just like we are.

     Our cities, which used to be centers of society, have become hollow shells, with most of the population trying to escape into some mythical image of the country or the suburbs.  Leaving once lovely downtown areas ghost towns.  And yet, though there are many empty buildings in most cities, no one seems to think it worthwhile to make these into homes for the homeless and the poor and disadvantaged. They seem to be worth more as tax write offs, so they're just allowed to die and decay.

     Politicians live in some separate, obscure reality from the rest of the people they are supposed to serve and, in fact, have forgotten the entire concept of by the people, of the people and for the people. I read the Constitution last night. No joke. I wonder how many politicians have EVER read it. How many politicians have ever actually been dirt poor.  Had to choose between medicine and food, wondered how they were going to get something as simple as toilet paper or how they would feed and care for their kids.

     The way our society has criminalized the homeless makes me truly ashamed to be an American.

     We need improvement in all areas. We're not doing much of anything right, in my opinion. Because the old school boys who run things resist change at any cost. Goddess forbid they should lose even a penny of their obscene incomes in order to improve the quality of life for others. And those improvements need to start at the base, with the way we treat people. We can no longer afford to see money as the indicator of success, but rather the quality of life, of humanity, as the rule of success. One of the things I feel MOST strongly about is that a decent education, decent health care, food, and housing should be basic human rights.  Rights. Because for too long, now, poor people, the sick, the disabled, the elderly, have been considered by politicians and big business to be completely useless people whom we would be better off without.

9)  Do you believe we have problems with race relations?  If so, how would you improve them?

     Oh yes. Anyone who thinks racism has been solved is a blind fool.  Any white person on a dark street alone with a black man automatically thinks they're about to be attacked. I don't mean that this makes them a racist, but years of racial biasing have seared this impression into their minds. They may consciously be the most unprejudiced person in the place, but they'll still get a twinge of fear because they've been brainwashed by society as a whole. They can't help it.

     Overt racism has become more hidden, but it's still out there. My parents, despite their many abuses and shortcomings, did some things remarkably right. One of those things was to not only have many friends of many races, but to never, ever, in my hearing, refer to anyone as Black or Korean, or Indian, or Mexican. They simply called people by their names and accepted them as they were.  As a result, I grew up with no concept of race as any kind of difference in people. When people make racist remarks, when racially motivated actions occur,when I see someone from the KKK or one of those organizations, it seems to me to be unbelievably stupid, and the people who hold those opinions appear to me to be complete morons.

     This is a subject that has always held my attention, a problem I study and try to understand. A situation I worry about. I don't have a lot of solutions. But whatever the solutions may be, they need to start at the bottom, in the inner cities, with the people.  Kids growing up in the inner city, in the projects, need education and opportunity. If a kid is growing up in poverty, suffering prejudice, and the best he can hope for is to work at McDonald's, you can hardly blame him for turning to crime or selling drugs or joining a gang to try to improve his quality of life. Deny people everything they need and they'll find another way to get it. Give them decent choices and I believe most people will take advantage of the opportunities offered.

     I have great respect for Minister Louis Farrakhan and the Black Muslims. I may not like their attitudes about race, in general, but he, and they, have put their time and money and work back into the Black neighborhoods to try to create opportunity and to make things better.  You can't fault the man for putting his money where his mouth is.

     I do think that the Internet is creating a new generation of kids that don't have the racial biases of their parents.They don't see Blacks as automatically poor or a threat.  They don't see people of different races as being different. They don't divide humanity into THEM and US. This is, for me, a very encouraging sign. I think this is due mainly to something that the older generations never had. Establishing friendships with and getting to know people of various races,countries and cultures, and enjoying those friendships. It's very easy to hate someone you know nothing about. It's a little harder when you know and like the person, and through them, other people like them.

10)  What are your impressions of America's place on the world stage?  If possible, what would you change?

     At the moment, I don't think we know our place on the world stage. We've made some terrible mistakes on that stage, and we are no longer the country to look up to, the country that helps others. We're searching for a new identity. The rest of the world sees us interfering with everybody else instead of solving our own serious and obvious problems.  Our image in the world has become one of cowboying rage with a hair trigger, an image of arrogance which makes us feel we have the right and obligation to tell the rest of the world what to do. And the rest of the world seriously resents us for it. And somehow, we're surprised by this resentment.

     We've lost our identity as a nation,and we can't seem to unify our own people or stop political infighting long enough to discover a new direction. It's not healthy for a country to have no identity, no direction. It creates chaos.

     I'm not sure what I would change,really. I'm certainly not a political pundit. My opinions are based, I think,on tolerance, compassion and common sense. I do know that we need to solve our own problems before we start trying to tell anyone else what to do. And we need to stop thinking that other countries, no matter what their system of government or financial conditions or skin color or religion, are somehow inferior to America. I don't believe in, nor approve of any kind of one world government, but I do feel we need to move to more of a one world community.  A world of tolerance and cooperation.We are all human beings, with feelings and hopes and dreams and we need to start treating each other that way.

     The absolute worst thing I've ever heard anyone say was said by a local woman here in Amarillo, whom the news interviewed for an opinion on the Iraq war and the religious basis for it. She said, "I don't care what religion they follow, as long as they accept Jesus Christ as their lord and savior."

     That ignorant and arrogant statement pretty much expresses many of the problems I see in America today.  And I'm sure that if you asked that woman about it, she would not have a clue why what she said was at all wrong.

11)  What do you want to be remembered for the most?